“Just in the physical act, the decision making process, applying paint upon a previously worked surface and I'm immediately lost in the practice, the search and personal discovery which takes place. I think like most artists I like to push at any parameters from time to time, to explore some new territory and surprise myself. Each new painting seems to me to offer always-new possibilities.” To propose any sort of a concrete idea this early would serve no purpose for me at this point in time. The idea of approaching making a piece of art with a clear cut idea has no concern to me as of now, instead I have been embracing the act of art making. This focus has lead to a growth of my areas of interest as far as what I’m concerning myself with in my work. The concept of narrative is slowly leeching its way into my paintings; I can feel it trying to make itself known. I’ve been teasing with her lately, allowing her to show her face in some places, but in others using a decoy that can sometimes be mistaken for her. Whether the narrative is a personal attachment or a fake construct, it still is providing the sense of attachment to my work, and in a weird way enticing me to show it. Recently I‘ve noticed almost all of my paintings are done vertically, as if I’ve been subconsciously treating it as a being all along. I've been painting on a lot of other people’s paintings and using others identities in my paintings to question the authorship of the piece.When have enough changes been made to a painting that makes it belongs to someone else?
This question interests me, the answer is different with every person you ask; some like the idea and the play you can have with it, while others question or skeptical of it’s authenticity. Any sort of figure in my paintings is laid upon a formalist abstraction, painterly in it’s nature. Even spray paint, which is used in almost every single painting, although it is an industrial medium made for convenience not quality, is still intrinsically gestural. Any slight change in the position of the spray, or slight lingering in the path of the arc of the spray is recorded upon the canvas. My paintings have the feeling of quickness to them, but that is more out of necessity than artistic choice. If the growth and development is slowed by my own deliberation, a stalling and souring of the painting is inevitable. But this is not the end point of the painting, it’s more of a temper tantrum, and simply needs to be scolded and put in a corner to think about what it’s done. When it has matured enough to admit its own wrong, then it can continue to be worked on. The most important thing about my work personally right now is the actual enjoyment of creating it.
To be painting with clear intention right now would not help, if only having the chance to impede my work. I’m at a point where I am steadily producing work while simultaneously enjoying it, and I do not want to fuck that up. The idea of a hidden narrative figure trying to make itself known is interesting to me, partly because it’s an aspect of my art that I have no grasp on, and am only receiving confusion when trying to deal with it. On recommendation I looked into Philip Guston talking about the use of golems in painting and found this, “I should like the image in my painting to be as puzzling and mysterious to me as if a figure walked into this room and we stopped talking and wondered: Who is he? What is this appearance? We can't fathom why he's here, who he is, what he does, and why he should look the way he looks - as in a story by Kafka, if my memory is correct, when the protagonist comes home, unlocks the door, and there are some beings on the stove. He doesn't know who they are, what they are doing there; they're pulp, they're make-up. He doesn't know what is really going on ... A Golem fascinates me.” Can I include myself in a way that puzzles even myself? I’ve been interested in parts of objects you can’t see, but what about narratives that are unknowingly being presented?
Currently I have my studio cleared out with all my paintings on the wall, and a singular sculpture in the middle of the room. The colors of the sculpture can be found in every single painting on the walls, creating a totem like structure whose reach extends beyond it’s physical limits. The paintings, although varying in construct and style, all share common ground with this tower. Through this connection I’m trying to establish a defined space that these objects inhabit and interact in. The totem is constructed out of spent canvas rolls and a pizza box top, with one of the poles having a small ceramic slab attached to the bottom with paper and matte medium. The structure itself barely stands,and is very temperamental when trying to place it. Is this an attempt to create a sense of myself within painting, or a sense of oneself within my paintings?
